Worst of 2007

TV

Drew Carey

As the host of Power of 10, he's perfectly adequate. But replacing Bob Barker with this emotionless fuckwit? We don't get it. He has singlehandedly brought The Price is Right down quite a few notches. I bid 0 dollars. Muahaha.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Who knew watching a bunch of botoxed shameless harpies could be so damn boring? Not Bravo apparently.

Any Afternoon Dating show on MTV

Room Raiders, Next, Date My Mom, The Ex Factor. These are seriously the worst shows on television...ever. What was once a groundbreaking network has officially come to shit with this programming.

Grey's Anatomy

I'm over it. As should be the entire country at this point. While not nearly as horrible as the rest on this list, it's just such a shame to watch what was once a brilliant show that was ABOUT something turn into Shondafest lameness.

Sunset Tan
The tans look awful. The owners of the tanning place are in their late 30s or older and dress like fucking club hopping 20 year olds from Staten Island. They show no realistic sense of responsibility. Sigh. How do some people get on TV?



Books

The Almost Moon

This book isnt even almost good. In fact, its the worst book I've ever read to be quite honest. Ironic being that Alice Sebold's other novel "The Lovely Bones" is probably the best work of fiction I've read my entire life. The Almost Moon ends up being the worst. A story about a woman who kills her mother because she cant take it anymore, fantastizes "When I was younger, I thought everyone dreamt about chopping up their mothers body into little pieces." Um, no they dont. Christ. Get a fucking shrink Alice. Where the fuck did this come from?


Music

TImbaland, Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado- Give It To Me

This song makes no sense whatsoever. A forced collaboration between these 3 just didn't work. Timbaland was fine working with each of them on their own. But this song just proves the point that enough is enough.

Gwen Stefani- The Sweet Escape

I love you Gwen. In fact, you've never disappointed me until this. If I hear that god damned Akon sing "woo hoo" er whatever he does in this song one more time. I might kill him. The end.

Akon

That's all. He's horrible and talentless.


Fergie- Big Girls Don't Cry
I'll admit I liked this song at first. It's not necessarily Fergie's fault for fucking up this time. But we heard this song SOOO much on the radio this year and in commercials. Define overkill: Big Girls Dont Cry.


Nickelback- If Everyone Cared

Nobody does. Your music blows and your voice is god fucking awful.


Faith HIll- Red Umbrella
For me, the biggest Faith HIll fan alive, to publicly diss her on my blog, it must be a pretty horrible song. Once again, a song which makes no sense lyrically. Awful chorus and awful everything. I recommend downloading this just to hear how BAD this song is. Huge disappointment Faith.


Movies


Feast of Love

Feast of shit. A film that proves a good cast does not make a good movie, in fact, its probably the worst I've seen all year. It's meant to be charming and special. Instead it comes off as dumb and unaware.


Eastern Promises

The most over-rated movie of the year. A plot that is just so over-the-top. The characters make no sense given the film itself. Then something about baby in a river? I dont know. Eastern Promises is a jumbled string of mob-related clichés that mesh into something that’s derivative and uninteresting.


The Brave One
The film moves from cliché to cliché and hemorrhages blood and logic at an alarming rate. Jodie Foster, wtfwtf. You can do so much better than this.


A Mighty Heart
A Mighty Heart has the surface tension of a first-rate docudrama but neither the passion nor the vision to encompass its powerhouse subject. A real life horror story. I'd rather see a documentary of this woman.


Spider Man 3
How do you top one of the best sequals, let alone comic book films ever?(Spider Man 2) You dont. You fail miserably. Hence, Spider Man 3.