Kathy Griffin: Straight To Hell

Kathy Griffin's newest Bravo special is called Straight to Hell, and it's where she feels she is certain to go. Of course, she has to launch the show by retelling us with her side of her speech debacle at the Emmy's (or, as she called them - the Shmemmy's, since her category was not part of the televised event). Just in case anyone missed it, she mocked all the stars who thank Jesus in their acceptance speeches by saying that Jesus had nothing to do with her winning, that he probably didn't even like her and her grand finale was the now infamous "Suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now"! What we didn't know was that her speech was written by one of the writers for Zoey 101 on Nickelodeon. Now, that, my friends, is the chocolate covered cherry on the ice cream sundae, lactose free of course.

That is just one of the reveals she hands us about what goes on behind the scenes of celebrity, but my favorite theme is this: most celebrities are exactly as you think they are. All those times you've heard someone say that they were taken out of context, that what we see is just a persona, or that they were edited to look a certain way? Kathy tells us it's all bullshit. Paris Hilton is just as oblivious as we all suspect. This was proven when she got lost on stage at a recent awards show, wandering around the podium in confusion while the audience watched in all their glory - a part of the show that was edited out before it aired on television. Which doesn't seem so bad...if you're me, or any average person who's never been to an award show. But if you're Paris, come on.

She knows her audience well. At one point, she asks her standard "Where are my gays?" Then she adds "And what about women, lesbian or otherwise?". She follows that with a meek "And....straight men?" to a smattering of a response. She apologizes for not speaking their language before asking how many of them were dragged by their wives or girlfriends. She also admits that all the press she received from The Catholic League and different Christian groups reacting to her speech was heaven for her. I doubt Jesus is involving himself in the Blockbuster Music Awards. Her audience totally gets these things.

She lets us in on the sorts of things that most of us will never get the opportunity to know. Such as, apparently James Lipton, of Inside the Actor's Studio fame, is a close talker who gives off a distinct To Catch a Predator vibe. Martha Stewart makes her assistants wear matching uniforms. Even worse, they are khaki pants, salmon shirts and little kerchiefs. I'd quit.

She gets a little overboard when she talks about my girlfriend Faith Hill getting mad and yelling at the camera when Carrie Underwood won at last years CMA's. Cause seriously, it was just a bad joke, and plus it's like a year old. She wasn't serious, because nobody would seriously do that, except for Kanye West of course.

When someone suggested to Bill Maher that he have Kathy on his show, he apparently replied with a sarcastic comment about how if wanted to know what was going on in the world, Kathy is not the person he would go to. She shot back "I just got back from Iraq, when are you going Bill"? This made me squeal in glee, mostly because Bill Maher seems like a pervy uncle who always gets drunk at family events and stands too close to his not quite legal nieces and tries to be "hip" and "relatable" to them. He's the liberal's Ann Coulter. Only tolerable...because he's not calling grown men faggots, or calling 9/11 widows a bunch of harpies...or Ann Coulter.

On the other hand, Kathy looks great and happy on stage. I truly believe that she lives to perform and it's a lot of fun to watch. I saw her live, actually, last year, with my humor equivalent Anthony (shout out)- so I speak from first hand experience. Of course, all the material from her live show doesn't make it onto Bravo - only HBO is that liberal, after all - but what is there is strong stuff.

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